Pissing the Devil Off

God wishes, above all things, that we prosper and be of good health.  I have been Blessed beyond compare.  God is too good to me, I could never be unhappy.  I have my moments, they are short and far between, but that is the natural part of me.  But, even though I go through these moods swings, I am growing Spiritually every day.  The devil is pissed at me right now, and has been for awhile.    He is going to be boiling mad once he recognizes what I have become.  I fear nothing but God.  The devil has no power over me or my life.  He is attacking me personally, financially, emotionally, through my family, through my friends, through my health, through everything I love.  I am still standing, I am still filled with joy, I am staying steadfast.  My faith is in full stride right now and I will not back down.  The devil does not like that, as a matter of fact, he hates it.  My ultimate goal is to piss the devil off to the extreme.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Prepare!

Terrific Tuesday afternoon. We are getting closer and closer to the New Year. I am one who totally looks forward to starting a New Year, a new cycle in my life. The idea of having another opportunity to do better, to be better, to love harder, and to be stronger is something that excites me. As we prepare for this NEW opportunity, we must remember a few very important factors. The past is the past, it's ok to leave it there. But, it is imperative that we take the lessons learned from our past experiences with us into our future endeavors. If you have a grudge, leave it. If you have hate in your heart, get rid of it. Start the year "anew" with "a new" attitude. I am not a vengeful person, and I love everyone, but I also know who to love from a distance. If I am continuously loving you up close and personal, do not take it for granted. That is a different kind of love, and I reserve the right to retract that kind of love whenever it is warranted. God's love for me is the only motivation I need to love others. That should be everyone's reason for loving. On another note, you really have no choice BUT to love if you want to make it into the kingdom of heaven. That is all! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

If Nothing Else...

My thoughts have been in a place that is not familiar to me.  There are so many things I would like to say, but I am actually having a problem putting my thoughts to words.  I want EVERYONE to be happy.  I want EVERYONE to feel love.  I want EVERYONE to feel the joy the He brings.  This holiday season has been like one that I have never experienced.  Despite the fact that my funds have been so short that I could not go Christmas shopping, God made a way for my children to have an amazing Christmas.  My children made it very clear that they did not want or need anything for Christmas, but personally, I am not used to being in this predicament.    I have had to totally depend on God for EVERYTHING.  Up until March, I honestly thought that was what I was doing.  But, when you honestly can not see a way out of any situation in your life, then you really learn what it means to be totally dependent on God.  This was a lesson for me, and it will be a continuous lesson.  When I go back to work, I will have the same dependent mentally that I have developed.  I see so many people unhappy because of the stupidest things.  I had no choice but to find happiness in the things that I previously took for granted.  My life is coming together on a level that is more common for me, but it is already together on a level that was unfamiliar to me.  The love that I feel for people who are less fortunate than I am.  I do not mean materialistic fortune, I mean the lack of God in their lives.  I have something that should be coveted by anyone that doesn't have it.  God has given me a power that I could not have gotten if I had not went through what I went through.  I am overflowing with love for God, love for my children, love for my family, love for my friends, even love for my enemies.  God has put a man in my life that desires to love me unconditionally and adores my spirituality and is making every effort to grow in God.  If nothing else, the fact that I have been able to draw others to Christ and help others maintain their faithfulness, I have accomplished more this year than I have in my entire life.  My strength, my faith, my God.  I know I will not waiver from what I have come to love even more.  It is sooo worth staying faithful and believing in God's word.  He can and will bring you through ANYTHING.  My confidence is built on faith, my faith is built on Christ!  I have Him...if nothing else.   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on  

Jesus Is!

Merry Christly Christmas! God is amazing! Today is a spiritually emotional day for me, His birth is the reason that I am able to live. I love Jesus, and I can't imagine my life without Him. He has worked miracles in my life, my ENTIRE life. If people only knew the UNBELIEVABLE things He has done for me. One of these days, when you have a ton of time, I will tell you the history of my life and the Blessings that has been bestowed on me since childhood. I am Blessed and Highly favored! You are Blessed and Highly favored. Before the world began, He called out YOUR name! Think about that, seriously think about that. Now, enjoy your day and give Praisees to whom ALL Praises are due. Jesus is! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Tell the Enemy...NOW WHAT?

After an unbelievably, uplifting, spiritually empowering week, I KNEW the devil was going to be pissed at me.  God has done amazing things in my life, in an instant.  He has conquered things that I have prayed about and waited on.  I maintained a positive attitude while patiently waiting on the Lord.  The devil could not break me down, no matter what he tried.  But, today, here he comes again.  He could not stand that (_i_) whooping I put on him this year, and he hated it when I stumped him down this morning.  He had to come back with a vengeance.  Attacking me through the ones I love.  I was angered and ready to retaliate, then I had to remember who and what I was dealing with.  The devil is a spirit, and this is spiritual warfare.  I can not handle this as a human.  I will not react.  I will not be carnal minded.  I will allow God to lead me, just as I have for the last ten months.  God has Blessed me with wonderful people who have been by my side throughout all of this.  He has Blessed me with someone who listens to me, just listens.  Someone who does not try to fix things that are beyond HIS ability.  But, will pray for me and be that strong shoulder when needed.  Aside from the fact that I refuse to let God down, I will not let my loves down.  I will not let myself down.  And, most importantly, I will not let HIM down.  He depends on my strength, and my ability to maintain a level head in the midst of chaos.  It did not take long for me to remember that my purpose has changed.  I regained my focus and went into prayer.  God gave me peace about this NEW situation.  I leave it in His hands.  He will handle this in the way that He sees fit.  I trust Him, totally.  I love Him, unconditionally.  He loved me first, just because.  Back on my game, my SPIRITUAL game.  I will not be broken!  Feeling Spiritually strong as I tell the enemy...NOW WHAT?  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Believe it and Receive it

Today has been an AWESOME day.  This week has been an AMAZING week.  I am overflowing with joy.  Having joy is very common for me, but the way I feel today, had become a thing of the past.  I honestly can not think of the last time I was this happy.  For those of you that know me on a close personal level, you are well aware that my entire year has been filled with continuous attacks.  Even though I am one that keeps to myself.  The orchestration of chaos that has been brought on my by the enemy, was truly unheard of.  I continued to pray.  I continued to fast.  I continued to grow Spiritually, and I continued to love those that made every effort to hurt me.  This has been a very discouraging, hurtful year for me. But, by the grace of God, I maintained my sanity, and most importantly, I maintained my faithfulness.  It was prophesized to me in April, that I was under attack.  This was shortly after I had been terminated from a job that I had only worked at for a month.  I left a very secure, well paying job to accept this position.  This, of course, should have been a blow of devastation.  I am very strong, naturally.  So, I am even stronger, spiritually.  I knew what it was and who it was, so I was prepared.  So I thought.  The consistent attacks pushed me to my breaking point on more than one occasion.  But God!  I am a witness to what God can do and what He will do, if only we stay faithful.  The enemy could not break me head on, so he attacked me through the ones I love.  I have been through things that I would never have imagined would happen to me.  Still, I smile.  Still, I thrive.  Still, I thank God for the small things.  The things that can not be bought and that does not come automatically.  I thank Him for the things that I can not acquire through education or employment.  The people that I have been able to help since I have had so much time on my hands, has been a very Spiritual experience.  The perspectives that I assisted in changing will bring hope to those that felt things were hopeless.  Please, I beg you.  Stay strong.  Stay loving.  Stay faithful.  Stay Godly.  Your efforts will not go unnoticed.  God WILL keep His word.  Once you believe, truly believe.  Then, and only then, can you receive. I am running faster, and I am loving harder than ever before!  My breakthrough is upon me, and I will not miss out on my Blessings.   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

The Wait is Over

I have been MIA for a minute, but now, I am back to getting it in!  Thanking my God for everything, as usual. I have been extremely busy for the last few days. Unexpectedly busy. I have had so many eye opening experiences, that I am truly on cloud nine. I am always amazed at how quickly God answers prayers. He is in the Blessing business, and He continues to bring light to my life when there seems to be so much darkness around me. The darkness is there, but I can't see it. The misery is there, but I can't feel it. Depression is lurking, but I repel it! I have a glow like no other, and people are drawn to it. My faith is increasing, my spirit is filled with joy! My life is awesome, and I would not trade it for anything. I am really happy right now. Finally, things are coming together. My patience is paying off. My wait is over. I am in full stride to take full advantage of my breakthrough. I love my life, I love my God, I love my loves, and I love HIM! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

The Heart is Deceitful

Great afternoon.  I have to say something today that is meant for someone, maybe many someone's.  When we love, naturally it can be overwhelming and hard to let our walls down so that we can love.  But, SPIRITUALLY, we are supposed to love everyone, unconditionally.  We are to love our family, our friends, and even our enemies. We believe that when we do good, we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.  I am here to serve notice that every good deed is not a God deed.  Our heartfelt compassion and concern for each other can cause us to actually go AGAINST God's will.  The scripture that addresses this is Jeremiah 17:9, it reads, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"  It is not WHO you know, it is that you know "I AM."  The Great I am.  When you know God, I mean really know God, you will know when to act, when to react, when to intervene, or when to intercede.  Intercessory prayer is one of the greatest things we can do for each other.  Just because we may be mentally, physically, and financially fit, to "fix" someone's problems, does not mean that we are supposed to.  We will go through more attacks once we become SPIRITUALLY connected.  The closer we get to God, the greater the attacks will be.  Subsequently, the stronger we will become.  We will get to the point where we will know heavy attacks are coming before they present themselves.  That is our connection with God.  But, when we go through, the ones that are connected to us, will also go through.  The enemy will attack us through the ones we love when he realizes he can not make us waiver by attacking us head on.  When we are Spiritually connected with each other, we will be able to discern when our loved one's are going through something major.  Knowing, loving, and being a Spiritually guided person, can lead some to believe that WE are unlucky.  No, we are not unlucky, we are highly favored.  Take the time to know, connect, and go with God.  Your battles will be greater, your attacks will be greater, but your SPIRIT will become more powerful.  So, needless to say, if you are serving the God that I serve, you too are under attack.  Fast for it, pray for it, prepare for it.  It will come your way until the day you die.  Unless you stray AWAY from God.  Remember, every goodly deed is not a Godly deed.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Joy Comes in the Morning

Great afternoon! After a very long, sleepless night, I am a little closer to feeling like myself. I spent my night thinking, contemplating, planning, and praying. Eventually, I was able to focus enough to meditate on the Lord for a while. My day yesterday was one that I would love to forget, so I thought. God will connect with you on such a level that your soul will be cleansed at the time you need it most. Tears of hurt, pain, frustration and anger, were transformed into tears of joy! My God knows just what to say, and how to say it, so that Atanya will interpret His words in a way that is best for...Atanya. I love my God, and I love my friends that were there for me last night. The outpouring of love and concern touched my heart and calmed my soul. I love HIS strength and concern for me. HIS love is real and unconditional. That's what I love most about HIM. My spirit will not be broken. In the midst of all of my attacks, I continue to find the strength to say thank you. The devil is a lie, and in all of his messing, I ALWAYS find a Blessing. There's a Blessing in it, and I will find it. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Educating the Ignoramuses

Before I begin, I must say that I am not usually one that blogs about anything negative.  I take pride in the positive insight that I give to my readers.  But, this is one thing that I have got to get off my chest.

The below article really pissed me off.  I am sick and tired of well to do WHITE people trying to tell us what we need to do to get to where they are, or want to be.  It needs to be said, unless you have lived it, you have no business talking about it.  I will use myself as an example for the sake of educating the ignoramuses who think they can just CREATE a solution that will solve our issues.

I was raised in a middle class family.  Yes, I intended an inner city school.  I was smarter than the average student, and I still am.  I am an educated black women.  I have extensive experience, and a very strong technical background.  I am a single parent of three girls.  All three of my children graduated High School as members of the National Honors Society, which I was also a member of.  I have been unemployed for the last 9 months, despite my education and experience.  I submit at least 100 resumes every week, consistently, and I very rarely get called for an interview.  Yes, the economy is bad, but the bottom line is that if I were a white woman, or if my name did not hint that I am a black woman, I would be employed by now.  The issues can not be outlined in black and white, but the issues are black and white.  It is sad to say, but an employers desire to have a diverse workforce is not what it should be.  Many white people are intimidated by black people just because we are black.  I know this from experience.  I have worked in several environments where I was almost, if not the only, black person I would see throughout the entire day.  I was able to connect with my co workers on a personal level, and they made it very clear that they were intimidated, if not afraid, of black people.  This is something that needs to be recognized.  I do not walk around with a chip on my shoulder, but I am not ignorant to the issues at hand.

Please click on the below link and read the article

If I Were a Poor Black Kid...Well You are Not

Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Lack of Faith Occludes Blessings

Great morning.  Unhappiness has become so wide spread that we are not aware that we are unhappy.  We are becoming accustomed to a life of misery and pain.  We are accepting every negative thing that we see and hear as our own reality.  God allows us to go through all that we go through, so that we can know that HE is God.  His mercy and grace will be never ending as long as we trust and believe in Him.  Our faith must be greater than our fate.  Our will must be greater than our way.  Our love must be greater than our life.  My loves, I see you are growing impatient and weary in your well doing. I hear you asking, "God why You", and when is it YOUR turn to have peace and prosperity"?  I know the Spirit is telling you, "If I give you everything, and you had to wait for nothing, how would you recognize a Blessing"?  If we had everything WE wanted and needed, what desire would we have to be close to God?  God will provide everything we need and some of what we want.  He will give us the desires of our hearts.  But, as we grow closer to Him, and become more SPIRITUAL, the desires of our hearts will change.  God reigns on the just as well as the unjust.  Simply put, He will Bless you and love you regardless of your beliefs.  But, when you desire the full Blessings of the Lord, you must have faith in Him and His word, no one else's.  Not having faith WILL NOT stop God from Blessing you.  But, lack of faith occludes Blessings.  I want my Blessings to come full flow, without anything blocking them.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

The Biblical Meaning of the Number 12

As I mentally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually prepare for 2012, I found it necessary to share my limited knowledge of the the Biblical Meaning of the Number 12.  This is an amazing number to me, and I am so excited to begin the new year.  This number is, in obvious definition, a multiplication of the significance of the numbers 3 and 4.  Join in my excitement and joy for the upcoming year.

Twelve is a perfect number, signifying perfection of government, or of governmental perfection. It is found as a multiple in all that has to do with rule. The sun which "rules" the day, and the moon and stars which "govern" the night, do so by their passage through the twelve signs of the Zodiac which completes the great circle of the heavens of 360 (12 x 30) degrees or divisions, and thus govern the year.

Twelve is the product of 3 (the perfectly Divine and heavenly number) and 4 (the earthly, the number of what is material and organic).

While seven is composed of 3 added to 4, and is God's number of completion.  The number 12 is 3 multiplied by 4, and hence denotes that which can scarcely be explained in words, but which the spiritual perception can at once appreciate, organization, the products denoting production and multiplication and increase of all that is contained in the two numbers separately. The 4 is generally prominently seen in the twelve.

Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Love Conquered

I am overflowing with joy today.  For no apparent reason.  But, for many apparent reasons.  I can't say that much has changed today from yesterday.  But, I will say, I love to love and to be loved.  Each day gives me a new perspective, a greater desire, and a clarity that love is needed.  The need for love has reached a magnitude that I would never have predicted.  People are growing more and more hateful.  They are hating each other for the craziest reasons.  Hate me because I'm beautiful.  Hate me because I am employed.  Hate me because I am loved.  Hate me because, just because.  The list goes on and on.  Hate can turn to rage, which can manifest into obsession.  Love each other for the obvious, and embrace each other for the not so obvious.  Take a chance and wear your emotions on your sleeves, for once.  If you experience pain and rejection because of this, then when you experience true love you will be that much more appreciative of the love you have conquered.  Accept people for who they are.  Love people for who they are.  Trust people for who they are.  Do not expect to change anyone.  If they gossip to you about other people, they will gossip about you to other people.  Know this from the beginning.  Then, and only then, will you be able to continue to love them once they have run your name through the mud.  Know and understand those that you share your time with.  But, love and respect those that you fall in love with.  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

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For Him I live...For Him I Will Die

Today has been an amazing day, as usual.  I thank God for everything He has done, everything He is doing, and everything He is going to do.  I really thank God for giving me an uncommonly, peaceful spirit.  The peace that God gives me is what keeps me focused, it gives me understanding, and it gives me the desire to pray for others.  I love everyone.  I pray for everyone.  Even those that make a great effort to bring me down, and attack my spirituality.  My blog yesterday and my Facebook post, truly opened up a  can of worms.  It's really something how people are so instantaneously offended when you voice your opinion about homosexuality.  But, they are receptive and understanding to the people who are Atheists.  People speak negatively about God, they attack one's spirituality, and the Christian world actually take it with a grain of salt, as if its nothing.  But, the minute you say ANYTHING about gay's that is not supportive of their lifestyle, you are crucified.  Is it me, or is there something wrong with that picture?  I have come to the conclusion that the picture is very clear, there is really nothing wrong with it, God's word is proving itself to be true.  We are living in the last days, and until people take the time to know God for themselves, this type of confusion will grow and spread like the plague.  People are not recognizing what is happening.  They see it happening, but are very accepting of it.  When your personal relationship with God is not strong and spiritual, you will fall prey to all of the tricks of the enemy.  When you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.  I stand for God, my spirituality, and I will endure until the end.  For Him I live, and for Him I will die.  That day is a lot closer than most of us think.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

The Sodom and Gamorrah of the 21st Century

Today, just like most of my days, has been a day of distractions, attractions, trials, and triumphs.  As I grow each day, I do take the time to think about many things.  I am observant, inquisitive, out spoken, and  fierce in all that I pursue.  I must say, I am not, and will not become accustomed to the very many outwardly disrespectful so called people of God.  It is known that God is a God of love and forgiveness. He is not a God that takes lightly to people taking advantage of His word, or twisting His word to justify their own actions.  It is true that God can speak to and through whomever He pleases and whomever is receptive to His voice.  But, just because you KNOW the word, does not eliminate your accountability to LIVE the word.  When much is known, much is required.  This brings me to the point of my aggravation.  I viewed a clip of the Lexi Show.  Lexi interviewed an openly gay couple who are pastoring a church in Atlanta , Georgia.  The Pastor is a Bishop, and his partner is referred to as the First Gentleman.  Really? We are all aware that there is one unforgivable sin, but homosexuality is not a sin, it is an abomination.  There is a difference.  The reaping is different, and it takes a much greater spiritual effort to be delivered from such a thing.   Let's not confuse what it means to sin, what it means to ask for forgiveness, and what it means to continue to do what we are doing with no remorse.  I am not homophobic, I have friends and family who are gay, but just as a liar needs to sincerely ask for forgiveness, so does homosexuals.  Accept who you are, for the time being, but recognize when you need to bind and rebuke your own spirits.  I love  everyone.  Regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation.  But, just because the world has become so accepting of so many sins, does not mean that God is.  God is the same God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  Are we becoming the Sodom and Gamorrah of the 21st century?  Watch the clip below, and decide for yourself.  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Take Time to See...ME

Great morning! Thanking God for my life, health, and strength. Even though I'm trying to catch a cold. It would be nice if the cold would run a little faster. I had an awesome evening last night and I had a very informative conversation with a good friend. Looking forward to this evenings festivities. It's so nice to see that everyone is not all about negativity, and there are truly a lot of good people out there, specifically single BLACK men. Not understanding the issue that so many woman are having. God has Blessed me with many options. Confusing sometimes, but I still have options, good ones. For starters, if we can move beyond the stereotypes, maybe we can see each other for who we truly are. I honestly believe that excess baggage from previous relationships is the main reason why people can not see the good in each other. I don't like being stereotyped, and I am sure you do not either. Think about it. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Love Yourself, You are YOUnique

One of the most important things that anyone can accomplish, is to love you first.  We are all given an individualized gift from God that makes us who we are, individuals.  The significance of this is that no one else is like YOU.  The parts that you like about yourself,  and the parts that you dislike about yourself is what makes you YOUnique.  Love yourself for who you are.  But, you must embrace who you are before you can come to this self loving status.  You are a child of God.  Whether you accept it, live it, or walk in it.  This is who you are and who you were created to be.  Knowing that God loves you, no matter what, should be motivation enough for you to love yourself.  Living your life trying to be like someone else, or patterning yourself after someone else can be a lonely way of existence.  It is normal to envy others, but when that envy turns into jealousy, it can be dangerous.  Obsessions are the main reason why so many people basically loses it.  I love myself.  I am not obsessed with me or anyone else.  I have no desire to be anyone other than who I am.  I couldn't even imagine having such a twisted desire.  The good parts of me are accepted by so many, but the AMAZING parts of me are embraced, and in some instances, coveted by some.  I love myself with everything in me.  This self absorbed love, if you want to call it that, is radiated and shared with the people I love.  Loving on a level that I love is not common.  I acknowledge and accept that.  So, when I do not receive the same level of love in return, I am not surprised.  My gifts are my gifts.  My talents are my talents.  God designed them specifically for me.  God made me unique.  I love that about Him.  He is the maker of all, and the finisher of everything.  Do not spend another day trying to be something that you are not.  You can only be you, and no one can be you better than you.  Love yourself, for I love myself.  I also love...you.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

My Boundaries, My Choice

It kills me how  men say that they want a good woman.  A woman that has not been passed around from man to man.  A woman with boundaries, and most importantly standards.  But, when men find that woman, they allow their egos to get the best of them.  I have a very flirtatious personality, I admit to that.  It is because I love people and I love to make people smile.  Specifically, black men.  I am flattered by the positive compliments and attention I receive from adoring men.  But, that does not mean that I am promiscuous.  It does not mean that I sleep with every man that I hang out with, or that desires me.  I have boundaries, and I live within them.  I do not "make out" with a man unless I am comfortable with allowing it to go further.  Because of this, I have been called a tease, stuck up, and even a lesbian.  My morals and my values are mine.  I do not, and will not change them for anyone.  Real men embrace this personality characteristic, and they respect it.  They strive to be that one that I will choose.  At the end of the day, allowing just anyone to enter my body is not something that I will do.  God has given me the understanding of the complications that this kind of behavior can bring.  My spirituality is the most important thing to me.  If I do not connect with your spirit, I will not allow your seed to come anywhere near my...SPIRIT.  I know who I want, and HE wants me.  I know who I love, and HE loves me.  Looking forward to an amazing life with this man.  It has been a long time coming!   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Struggling!

I must say, change and moving forward is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I am mentally prepared for the move.  My mind is ready to grow.  But, my past keeps coming back.  I am leaving some things and people behind because I feel that is what's best for me.  But, those things and those people do not want to be my past.  They want to be my past, my present, and my future.  Decisions, decisions.  This is certainly putting me in a place of indecisiveness.  I want to do better, I want to be better.  I want to love and be loved in return.  This is a priority for me right now.  So, when I look at things from that perspective, no matter how tempting, there are some things that can no longer be the object of my affection.  Jesus is my strength, my motivation, my everything.  But, even He will allow me to make my own choices.  I know what I want.  I know who I want.  But, is he what I am supposed to have?  A little confused right now, but I am continuously praying for clarity.  What God has for me is for me.  That is my power surge.  Surging forward is what I will do.  Either you are with me or not.  If you choose not to come, you will be...left behind.   I want you, now you need to do what you need to do to have me, and keep me.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Change...

It is, a time for change.  A time for renewal.  A time to make decisions.  Decisions that can impact my life forever. I have made a well informed choice to move forward in my life.  December will be my month for preparation.  This chapter in my life is complete, and I will savor the memories until and after my change comes.  My life has been chaotic this ENTIRE year, but I have learned and grown so much because of the chaos.  If it were not for all of the chaos, I would not have put things into perspective.  The things that I am extremely grateful for today, are the same things that I took for granted this time last year.  My New Year will be the start of the next chapter in my life.  I intend to love harder than I have ever loved before.  I intend to give more than I have ever given before.  Most importantly, I intend to grow with God more than I have ever grown before.  I view the New Year as another opportunity to make things "new".  My newness will not include some people for many different reasons.  My change will consist of loving those that love me.  My change will consist of getting closer to those that desire to be closer to me.  I will love everyone else from afar.  I love because I love.  I am in love with him because he is in love with me.  Our time has come.  I have been waiting my entire life for this.  The wait is over...for now.   Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

He is...AWESOME

Great Satisfying Sunday! God is deliverer, a provider, a healer. I unintentionally jacked up my back on Friday. By Saturday evening, I could barely walk (I'm sure cat crawling didn't help it any), but anyways, I came home, laid hands on myself, and bind the spirt of pain and agony. I prayed for ALL of my loves, and got an amazing connection with God before I went to sleep. I slept harder than a rock. Apparently, I talked on the phone with a couple of people during the night. When I woke up, I did not remember if it was a dream or an actual conversation. Now...back pain gone! God is awesome! I am so glad I know him for MYSELF. If you don't know, you better get to know. He makes life worth living. I am Blessed, I am loved. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Preparing for a NEW Beginning

Great morning. I have joy in my spirit, a song in my heart, and a word in my mouth. Its time to mentally and spiritually prepare for the end of 2011. Make it a point to allow the beginning of 2012 to be a "NEW beginning". Take a look at your lives and a look at your loves. Cling to the ones you love and are loving you in return. Continue to cling, and don't let go. But, starting today, look at YOUR situation. If you are making him a priority in your life, but he treats you like an option, its time to consider other options. I have to say, for whatever reason, God has given me many options. I am grateful for that. I have faith that the option I have chosen, is the one that God wants me to choose. If not, time will reveal. Regardless, it was my choice to make, and I am standing by it. I miss you, Babe! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

A New Life for Old Souls

Today is a day that I will ALWAYS remember. Two people that I hold near and dear to my heart will be saying farewell to their loved ones. My sister,Rhonda Denise Hayes McFadden's aunt will have her homegoing, and my best male friend Sylvester Mcswain, will say to his mother, "I will see you in heaven." Both will be at 11:00 am. Not a coincidence. I will be in prayer at the 11th hour. My prayers are with both of them and their families. I love you both. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

When I Love...

When I love, I love with everything in me.  At the age that I am, I have not experienced actually loving a MAN with everything in me.  I am totally capable of this, but the men that I have had in my life are not very receptive of it.  The ONE man that can handle my love, ALL of my love, will be the happiest King in the world.  Taking me for granted, not a good idea.  Taking advantage of my love for you, not a good idea.  Allowing me to walk away, the worst mistake of your life.   I am the best, and I will give my man the best treatment possible.  Losing me is something that all of the men in my past wish he had not done. Loving everyone is the easy part.  Falling in love with a man, a little more difficult.  Walking away from that man, almost impossible.  Key word...ALMOST.  I come first, I love me first, then I can love my man in a way that only Atanya can love.  Embrace my love, accept the gift I am giving you.  This can not be replaced or duplicated.  Atanya's love is not an imitation, it is the real deal.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Learn to Love...Unconditionally

Bitterness, hurt, anger, all of these things can manifest into hate. I am not one to speak negatively of the men in my life, especially on a public venue such as this. Man bashing...not my thing. I accept people for who they are, humans. We ALL are natural first. Regardless of what anyone does to me or say about me, I will not stoop to their level. Atanya is responsible for Atanya's actions. No one else. You are responsible for your actions. If you are a Christian, you must consider this. When much is known, much is required. Do not do or say things that YOU will have to reap for, 10 fold. Women, love the men in your life and treat them like Kings. That's what it means to be a true QUEEN. Our actions are based on our choices, not on the actions of others. Choose ye this day who you will serve. Man or God? Serving God means that He has your vengeance. Pray for those who hurt you. If your prayers are sincere, your heart will hurt just knowing that your offenders will reap for their actions. All I can do is love you, its up to you if you accept. But, even if it is rejected, I still love you. My spirit will not allow me to do anything else. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Happy for...EVERY Reason

Great morning! Up and at 'em, once again preparing for battle. Feeling good, looking great, living large in the name of Jesus. I have received many positive Praise reports this morning, and it just boosted my spirit even higher. I feel that the tides have turned, and God is honoring our faithfulness. He has brought us to it, to bring us through it. I have been through the fire, but I am coming out smelling and feeling brand new. He never ceases to amaze me. Even in the midst of this crazy year, He has kept my attitude positive, and my Spirit peaceful. During all of this, I have made new life long friends, I have severed ties with old friends, and I have connected with ONE person on a level that I have not in quite a long time. I am Blessed, Blessed, Blessed! I am excited to see what the future holds for me and my family, me and my friends, and me and my Babe. I must say, I am smiling from ear to ear with a big KOOLAID smile on my face. No one will turn this smile upside down. I will be happy, I will be joyful, I will be grateful, for the alternative is not an alternative and is not an option. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Blessed and Highly Favored

I am Blessed and Highly favored.  In the midst of the many storms and attacks that I have experienced this ENTIRE year, I have been able to stay steadfast.  My spirit has not been broken, my faith has not been weakened.  Despite it all, I am finding a Blessing in every situation.  My trials, my tribulations, and my triumphs, are all contributors to the strong foundation that I call SPIRITUALITY. My faith is built on nothing less than Christ! He is a keeper!  Letting Him go is not an option.  I am amazed at my own self for being able to cope with everything that I have on the magnitude that things have come at me.  But God!  I am ready for my breakthrough. I am ready to receive any and everything that God has for me.  I am ready to pray and give Praise to my God. My Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  It feels good to know that He is so good.  He thinks of me when no one else does.  He allows me to cross paths with those that need to be motivated, and those that can motivate me.  We are in this together!  Me, you, and Jesus.  That's what I call a circle of love.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Life and...Death

Since my birthday, November 27, I have been informed of four deaths.  Three of the deaths were people that were either close to me, or close to someone I hold near and dear to my heart.  When most people think about death, they view it as being definite and are saddened by it. I consider death to be a new beginning for those who are fortunate enough to meet our Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ.  I was a little disturbed by the fact that my best male friend's mother died on my birthday.  But, my perspective was changed by the inspirational words of someone that loves me.  I now feel Blessed that God came for one of His angels on my birthday.  My birthday will be a Blessed day forever.  We are fortunate to have great people of God in our lives for just a short time, but we have to give them back to God and allow God to end their suffering.  We must learn to rejoice in death, or home going's to those of us that know Christ.  Death is not to be feared, but to be welcomed when we know we are doing everything we can to live according to God's will.  I have vowed to appreciate each and every day that I have left.  For tomorrow is not promised.  If I can live until I am 70 years old, I know that I have lived well because that is what God has promised.  Do not take life for granted.  Love with everything in you with no regrets.  I will put everything I have into my man interest.  I love God, and I love you!  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Stay Positive

Is it me or is almost EVERYBODY in a funk today? My day started off with phone calls from people that have had some horrendous things happen this morning. I have to stay positive, I have to be positive, I have to find joy just in knowing...but God! I couldn't imagine letting anything overwhelm me to the point of becoming a negative person with a negative outlook on life. I am Blessed, I feel Blessed, I live BLESSED! Jesus is my rock! For the most part, it is mental. But, the spiritual part is what keeps me going. I will be supportive when needed, I will be the ear to hear and the shoulder to cry on when times are hard for you. But, you must learn to pray for yourselves and work YOUR faith. Your breakthrough comes through YOUR praise. My prayers can take the edge off, but your prayers will bring deliverance. I have too many things to be thankful for, I have too many people in my life praying for me, I have too many people that love me. Most importantly, I love myself. My aura will stay positive and spiritual. I share this with anyone who is receptive to it. I intend to be a life long friend to everyone, but dedicated to God and...HIM. There can be just one, and one man is all I need. The thought of that, brings me joy. I miss you, Babe! Living, loving, and loving some more! carry on

Birthday Blessings

I am really lost for words. My birthday has been the best one yet! I appreciate everyone to infinity and beyond. The love that has been shown to me this entire week, has literally brought me to tears. My family and my friends have proven to be irreplaceable. The extent that my Babe went to this week to make me happy is unheard of. I feel so Blessed to have him in my life. I also feel Blessed to have all of you in my life. Once again, I am too Blessed to be stressed. I love you all. carry on

Enchanting Night

Giving thanks for God's mercy and grace. Giving thanks for the ability and the desire to love. My evening last night was enchanting. I felt like a Queen with her King and her royal court at her side. The people in my life are amazing and are happy when I am happy. It is a mutual feeling. I love making people happy, and I love the people that appreciates my efforts. God is VERY good to me. He shows me favor everyday, for whatever reason. I am Blessed beyond measure. Missing him already! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Look At It

What is really going on?!? I wake up in a VERY good mood, with a joyful spirit. I turn on the news, and all they are talking about is people fighting, and robberies. Not kids, but GROWN tail people. This is the type of thing that puts a damper on the holiday season for everyone. Despite the fact that I am happy, my spirit is saddened by the behavior of so many UNGRATEFUL people. It causes me to consider this, if I am saddened by this, how does Jesus feel? His children have gone mad. They are becoming more and more selfish, and forgetting what it means to love each other. I could not imagine behaving in such a way. Just the thought of disappointing myself, and bringing tears to my father in heaven's eyes, would be enough to make me take control of MYSELF! I am loved by so many people, and I love everyone. I have been Blessed with an amazing family, awesome friends, and a special person that cares for me, for me. Wake up people, we have got to do better. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Blessed

Today was a day like no other. I am Blessed to have people in my life that care for me enough to take time out of their busy schedules to devour the amazing meal that I cooked. My family, my friends, and HIM!!! Thank you for being a part of this day, and breaking bread with me. Your gratitude for my efforts is greatly appreciated. God is good! carry on

Choices

Magnificent Morning! The sun is shining and I am feeling EXTREMELY Blessed, more than usual. Waking up with a song in my heart and a spirit filled with joy, can not compare to anything. God gave me a choice. I choose to make positive choices, I choose to live and love for God, I choose to love unconditionally. When I look at everything from THAT perspective, I know I have full control of my life. The attacks, the chaos, the struggles that others are having, makes the idea that I have choices that much greater. I choose to love you, do you choose to love me in return? I will not love because God says so, I will love because it is my...CHOICE!   Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

God is Great

It is amazing that anything can be as powerful and as great as God.  He is the alpha and the omega.  He deserves all of the Praise!  If you really take the time, and seriously think about everything He has done for you, emotional is what you will be.  He shows up and shows out at a time that we least expect, but at a time when He is most needed.  His love is never ending and unconditional.  Being like Him is my greatest desire and a goal that I will never let die.  I will strive to live in His likeness for as long as I have breath in my body.  Thank you Jesus for being so great!  You are greatly to be praised.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

From Trials to Tribulations

We are getting to the point where we are in a vicious cycle when it to comes to being unhappy.  Our actions, have become reactions.  We are allowing what others do and say to be the force that MOVES us.  Every time we turn on the television or radio, there is something horrific going on everywhere around us.  We are not voluntarily being desensitized, its as if we can not control the state of IGNORANCE that we are in.  We are angry, and do not know why.  We are insensitive to others, and do not know why.  We are just doing what we want when we want, and have gotten to the point where we are not concerned about how it effects others.  God's word, THE word, will not return void.  What we are going through is par for the course for Christians.  We know that trials may come and trials may go.  But, we have suddenly been thwarted into a life long tribulation.  We do need to recognize that many of our tribulations are self inflicted.  The choices we make, not mistakes, can have an impact on the way we view others, the way we view life, and ultimately our reaping.  Considering that the children will suffer for the sins of the fathers, is something that most Christians never think about.  We know that a lot of what we go through is not because of the way we have lived.  It all began with Adam and Eve.  It's time to take control of this chaotic situation that we are in, and take grasp of God and the power that He has given us.  I choose not to just be alive, I choose to live.  My life, my one and only life, is going to be lived for Christ's sake.  Regardless of my flaws, regardless of the way others view me, regardless of my sins.  Jesus is, and always will be, the ONE that can carry and guide me through...life.  Life on earth and life in heaven.   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

I Love My Parents

Happy 45th Anniversary to my Daddy and Mommy, Pastor Roger M. Hayes, Sr. and First Lady Anita L. Hayes. I love you dearly. Thank you for creating me. You did an EXCELLENT job! carry on

God Is

God is...everything to me! Had it not been for Him I would not be here today.  Had it not been for Him I would not be able to find a Blessing in every storm that passes.  Had it not been for Him I would have lost hope a long time ago.  Had it not been for Him I would be referred to as "Oh ye of little faith".  The evidence of His word and His presence in my life is manifested on a daily basis.  Holding on to Him has been my rock.  Holding on to Him has allowed me grow into the strong, steadfast, spiritual person that I am today. His touch, His never ending unconditional love for me is why I can love unconditionally.  I feel so fortunate to be given the greatest gift that anyone can give.  The gift of life and love can not be bought or duplicated.  Being alive is obvious, living is obscure.  If you are breathing you are alive, but knowing God will allow you to live.  I love Him with everything in me.  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Friends

It amazes me how the simplest conversations can have such a grave impact on the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you view life in general.  God opens our understanding, and he puts people in our lives as confirmation of some of these things.  When someone takes the time out to motivate you to live out your dreams, or even fantasies, that you have hidden from the world, it is something to be appreciative of.  We need to encourage each other, we need to support each other, and we need to love each other.  True friends are there for you when times are good and when times are bad.  Friends will accept you regardless of the things they think they know about you.  They will continue to accept you when they find out things that they would never have imagined about you.  Being yourself can be hard, even for the strongest of us. We never know how people are going to act or react to the things about us that are not so obvious.  I appreciate you for accepting me, and for helping me to accept myself.  Embracing the things about me that are not common, or that may be viewed as strange and peculiar, has made you adore me even more. I adore you, I adore our conversations, I adore the strength you give me.  I look forward to being more than just...your friend.  carry on

Lesson For the Day

MEN...if you frequent a women's home or spend time with her regularly, you should come bearing gifts, sometimes! Roses, candy, candles, or something to show her that you appreciate her. For the record, REAL women believe in chivalry and being woo'd. Step your game up brothers! carry on

Crossroads

I woke up feeling Blessed, once again. But, I also feel that I am at a crossroads in my life. Spiritually and naturally. The amazing part is that the envisioned roads are both positive and prosperous. Not because I know what direction each road will take me, but because I KNOW that God is my direction regardless of the path I choose. The light at the end of the tunnel is bright and blinding. The clouds along the way are not distracting or discouraging. I am headed towards the light and will not be diverted from my destined path. All of the many beautiful things that may be hidden behind those clouds shall and will be mine. He is mine and I am His. I am focused on me and mine, and HIM. HE is becoming more and more focused on ME. I am so flattered by that. Game face on! carry on

Being Thankful and Grateful

This time of year can be depressing for so many people. People feel lonely, neglected, unwanted, and unloved. It is important to stay prayed up, because these types of feelings are not of God. In the midst of the madness, people also lose the true meaning of the holiday season. Being thankful is the most important thing to remember. Even if you are unemployed, homeless, broke, your kids are acting up, or you are single, you have something to be thankful for. Learn to be thankful all year round, and it will become second nature. If we spent more time being thankful for everything we HAVE, we will not have time to gripe and complain about the things we do not have. I am thankful that you are in my life, and I plan to hold on to you. I love you...unconditionally. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Life is Beautiful

When I woke up this morning, after 11 am, I was excited to be allowed to see another day.  I am not one to sleep to such a late hour. But, I decided to turn my cell phone off to see if I could actually get some uninterrupted, much needed rest. I slept like a woman laying in the strong, protective arms of her man,  even though I slept alone. I feel Blessed, I feel loved, I feel favored, I feel proud to be a child of God.  I have longed to have a feeling of TOTAL completeness.  Because of God, I have that.  Despite my situation, despite my chaotic life, despite all of the attacks that come at me on a daily basis.  I am so happy to be Beautifully Blessed by God.  Another beautiful day, for a beautiful me, that I desire to share with my beautiful man, thanks to a beautiful God. Life is Beautiful!  BEAUTIFULLY...Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Tell Your Storm to Move

Why cut off your HEAD to spite your face? Are things really that bad? Take the time to learn from your experiences, regardless of how negative. Take the time to grow from your struggles, regardless of how hard. Take the time to move those mountains, regardless of how high. Take the time to work your faith, regardless of feeling powerless. Why go through the fire if your going to come out smelling like smoke? There's a Blessing in it, and you will be stronger once you win it. The battle is not yours. But, while your fighting, don't wait until the battle is over, shout NOW! I am confusing the enemy, I will praise Him in advance. Thank you Lord! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Game Face On!

It's too early for this mess! Really??? At what time of day would be a better time for you to deal with the attacks that are coming at you? Regardless of the time of day, satan is on a rampage. It seems as though the so called TRUE Christians are backing down, bowing down, and are becoming sitting ducks in the midst of this war. I am here to serve notice, this is not a typical war. This is SPIRITUAL warfare! How did we expect it to be? When the battles are great, the BREAKTHROUGH is greater! My NATURALLY competitive nature will not allow my SPIRIT to ever be defeated. Most importantly, God will not allow my spirit to be defeated. He is the conqueror of all things. When you are feeling POWERLESS, it's time for you to look at YOUR faith. Faith without works is dead. When your working with less, and feeling the press, that's when you SHOULD be at your best. Man up, and give the enemy what he is begging for. A good, old fashioned, SPIRITUAL butt whooping will do the devil some good right now. I am on a mission to kick some tail! I fear nothing, but I am feared, because I am FIERCE!!! Stay strong, stay steadfast, and get ready for your breakthrough. Game face on! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

I am Loved

Today has been an amazing day, because of an amazing God. Church was uplifting, as usual. I have received many surprises for my birthday all ready. My birthday is November 27, and my birthday weekend is in full force, all planned out and waiting for my day to arrive. I love and appreciate everyone that is taking the time out of their busy schedules to spend time with me for my special day. One person, in particular, will make it extremely awesome. 

Pray for My Daughters

A special prayer for my daughters. I was Blessed to give birth to three beautiful girls, Aleyse Swilling, Adrianita Williams, and Asianique Williams. Though God entrusted these three to me to raise as my own, He has also entrusted me with many others that I did not give birth to. My list of daughters is countless, it seems as though I am birthing another one each day. I have become a mother to many, and I will not abandon any. On this day, just as many days before, I pray for the safety and spiritual growth of my many children. The enemy is attacking at such a magnitude that it is draining the life out of my daughters. For those of you that know where YOUR strength comes from, pray for your sisters. Share your gift of spiritual empowerment by fearlessly facing the enemy with a vengeance. Refuse to allow him to have control of the lives, bodies, minds, or souls of the weak or frail. I bind and rebuke any and everything that is not like Christ. I will be victorious, my prayers will be answered, my daughters will be delivered! The hand of exploitation, low self esteem, womanizing, and ALL of the traps that have been set for you has been bind. Whatsoever we bind on earth, shall be bind in heaven. I speak this into existence. To God be the glory, I WILL NOT faint! In Jesus' name, Amen. Pray for my daughters. carry on

Release Excess Baggage

It vexes my spirit when I see everything that so many people are going through. I have strong shoulders and thick skin, but I can feel your pain. I am Blessed that people trust me on the level that they do, but with that trust and confidentiality, I will bring direction.  In an effort to help a group of people, in the best way I know how, I have to be truthful. A lot of your issues are because of YOU.  All of the excess baggage that you have carried your entire life, is weighing down your future life.  If you want to be better, you have to do better.  Walk cautiously, but not filled with paranoia.  Accept people for who they are, not for who you knew in your past.  Just because some people have done the same negative thing that someone else has already done to you, does not mean that they are the same.  Many people have a sincere heart and soul, but we are human first. I want you to embrace me, entirely. Not just the parts that you find attractive or less irritating.  I will do the same for you.  Whatever happened in my past relationships, I will not bring to ANY of my new relationships.  I trust people to be people.  I will trust you and take you for your word, until YOU give me a reason to do otherwise.  This does not make me gullible, this makes me compassionate.  I love you for you, regardless of any similarities that you may have to someone else.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on   

One Life

For anyone who's interested.  Your life has meaning.  Don't put up with anyone that treats you like it doesn't.  When the right person comes along, you will know it.  They will appreciate you, and treat you accordingly.  You have one life, and one life only.  I know it gets lonely sometimes, especially for women.  We were created for men, so when we do not have someone to give ourselves to, we can feel empty.  God can fill that empty space and make you feel worthy to wait for what He has for you. But, even with that, there are times that we still feel like there's something missing.  When God chooses someone for you, the choice can't be anything but right.  Wait on Him, and He will give you the desires of  your heart.  He knows what's best for you, and will give you His best. Nothing less.  When the time comes for the man that God has for you to find you, be prepared.  Make yourself available to that man, and stop wasting your time on the one's that are just...wasting your time.  carry on

Veterans, I Thank You

I have to take a moment to say "Thank You" to all of our veterans. Because of you, we are afforded the freedoms that we take for granted every day.  Despite the fact that there are so many things going on in the world that we do not approve of, our veterans have made a collective effort to make life better for the people of The United States of America, and other nations.  For this, I salute our veterans.  You are greatly appreciated.  In God We Trust.   carry on

Significance

11/11/11, The significance of this DATE is that it will be another 100 years before we will use the same digits to right the date. The significance of this DAY is that there will never be another like it. This day is independent of itself and can not be relived or replaced. I am favored by God, for he has allowed me to see this day. I feel happy, spiritually empowered, and loved. The many people that share my life with me, cares for me deeply. I am touched by the everyday subtle gestures of love that I receive. When given love, I return love. Even when it is not given to me, I give love. Its amazing how three words can make someone's day. I care because I care. If I have not told you, or text you, that I love you. I am telling you now. I love you!!! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Loving Him

Remember the moment when you FIRST realized you were in love. Not a crush, not infatuation, not puppy love. But, the real thing. The overwhelming warmth you felt in your heart, body, mind, and soul. Then you realized, this is so amazing, I want more. You just can't get enough of the love of your life. Who would have thought love could ever be this awesome. God knew it could and He knew it would. That's why He is God and that's why I love...Him. Thank you Jesus for loving me first so I can know how to love in return!  Loving my life, my love, my God!  Walking in my calling. carry on

Waiting on the Lord

Is it reasonable to say the we spend so much time looking at the issues of other people that we never stop an realize that we too have issues? Learning to love and accept people for who they are is one of the most amazing things you can accomplish while growing spiritually. God love's us for who we are, He holds no grudges, and most importantly He forgives us. In the midst of all of that, he continues to show us mercy and grace. At some point it needs to be acknowledged that what God has for you is for you. STOP spending so much time worrying about the relationships that have gone bad and prepare for the relationship that will be Good by God. Don't give up, stand still and wait on the Lord! Practicing what I preach and walking in my calling. carry on