My thoughts have been in a place that is not familiar to me. There are so many things I would like to say, but I am actually having a problem putting my thoughts to words. I want EVERYONE to be happy. I want EVERYONE to feel love. I want EVERYONE to feel the joy the He brings. This holiday season has been like one that I have never experienced. Despite the fact that my funds have been so short that I could not go Christmas shopping, God made a way for my children to have an amazing Christmas. My children made it very clear that they did not want or need anything for Christmas, but personally, I am not used to being in this predicament. I have had to totally depend on God for EVERYTHING. Up until March, I honestly thought that was what I was doing. But, when you honestly can not see a way out of any situation in your life, then you really learn what it means to be totally dependent on God. This was a lesson for me, and it will be a continuous lesson. When I go back to work, I will have the same dependent mentally that I have developed. I see so many people unhappy because of the stupidest things. I had no choice but to find happiness in the things that I previously took for granted. My life is coming together on a level that is more common for me, but it is already together on a level that was unfamiliar to me. The love that I feel for people who are less fortunate than I am. I do not mean materialistic fortune, I mean the lack of God in their lives. I have something that should be coveted by anyone that doesn't have it. God has given me a power that I could not have gotten if I had not went through what I went through. I am overflowing with love for God, love for my children, love for my family, love for my friends, even love for my enemies. God has put a man in my life that desires to love me unconditionally and adores my spirituality and is making every effort to grow in God. If nothing else, the fact that I have been able to draw others to Christ and help others maintain their faithfulness, I have accomplished more this year than I have in my entire life. My strength, my faith, my God. I know I will not waiver from what I have come to love even more. It is sooo worth staying faithful and believing in God's word. He can and will bring you through ANYTHING. My confidence is built on faith, my faith is built on Christ! I have Him...if nothing else. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on
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