I'll be the first to admit, I am different. I am strange and peculiar. I will also admit that once I allow a man to get close to me, and really see how different I am, they tend to be very uncomfortable. I am one whose life is usually a chaotic mess, and I am under constant attack. Some would think that I am a bad person or I am reaping for something that I have done. That is not the case. The peace that everyone sees on the outside, is because of the peace that God has given me on the inside. I thrive on the opportunity to grow Spiritually, the gift that God has given me makes me a very hard target for the enemy and his imps. My gift of discernment has not and will not fail me, as long as I stay faithful unto God. Because of this, my attacks are great and continuous. Unless you are a God fearing man, truly a God fearing man. You will not be able to comprehend or deal with this difference that is in me. I live, breathe, and think Jesus, all day everyday. I am very rarely caught off guard when it comes to any games or tricks played by men, or people in general. Most people think that I am just smart and wise beyond my years. It is so much more than that. I am a child of God. I have been given a gift that I use at God's convenience. I have no control over what I do or do not discern. But, the closer I get to God, the stronger my gift becomes.
It's sad to say, things can be very confusing when I become emotionally attached to someone. This is common for me, because I love everyone. Regardless of what anyone has ever done, or tried to do to me, I still love them. I will not retaliate or seek vengeance. This has a tendency to make me seem gullible or weak. I am far from that, I am strong in the Lord and have no desire to be anything other than the positive person that I am. I am Blessed and Highly favored. It is obvious in my attitude, my persona, my children, my family, and my friends. But, I too, need someone to love every part of me. Even the strange and peculiar parts. I love the man that loves those parts of me most. As of right now, God is the only one that has been able to fully embrace my differences. What God has for me is for me, and I know that the man God has for me will be totally prepared to deal with me. Yes, it takes time for someone to get to that point. But, at least he is making an effort. As he grows in God, his clarity will also grow. I will not have to explain anything about myself to him, God will reveal it to him in His own time. My man will walk my Spiritual walk with me, and accept me for "who" I am...no questions asked. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on
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