A Man's Love

Hello Loves!  It's been too long, much too long since I have blogged.  The direction of my life has changed, abruptly.  I honestly think I went into Spiritual shock there for awhile.  I am coming back into my own, and the blurriness in my vision is clearing up.  Today, this morning to be exact, began as a day of clarity and reminiscing.  I feel Blessed for that.  My life is not my own, I know this, but sometimes I can remember times when I felt like I OWNED my life.  In my remembering, I often think of my Daddy.  He is the most AWESOME man I have ever known.

My Daddy was a very hard working man, he is retired now. His family was a priority, and his God was an even greater priority.  If my Daddy wasn't at work, he was at church.  My Mommy would take advantage of every opportunity available for us to spend time with him.  Quality time.  One of my fondest memories of these moments, was my Daddy's lunch breaks at his job.

My Daddy retired from Pepsi Cola, he worked there for over 30 years.  My Mommy used to regularly take us to his job to have lunch with him.  I used to be so anxious to see my Daddy.  To this day, my Daddy's favorite meal is breakfast, and I still get excited when I see him.  My Mommy would make breakfast for my Daddy's lunch.  She would cook pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs for our picnic brunch.  My Daddy's face would light up when he saw us.  That was the greatest feeling in the world.  After lunch, he would take me into the plant.  The bottling plant had these monstrous machines that were just loud and scary to me.  I hated walking past them, but being with my Daddy made me feel safe.  He would take me to the cooler where the pop was.  In that day, employees were allowed to have as much free pop as they wanted.  Needless to say, people abused that privilege, but my Daddy didn't.  He would remind me, "Tanny, you can only have one pop, we won't be greedy, this is a Blessing."  He would proceed to dig in the cooler, all the way to the bottom, to find the coldest can of Pepsi he could.  Just for me.  Sometimes, he would pull the pop out, touch it with his other hand, and put it back in the cooler because it wasn't cold enough.  That made me feel special, very special.  It made me understand how big the smallest things are.  Throughout my life, I learned to appreciate the smallest things.  I embrace life on a level unlike most, because of this appreciation.

In my appreciation of everything my Daddy has taught me, I have to say, I know he is ready to pass the torch.  He is longing for the day when the man that God has for me, steps up and claims me...and my sister.  I am very picky when it comes to my husband, and he knows this.  He once said to me, "I blame myself for you and your sisters standards being so high, you want someone just like your Daddy."  I assured him that we do not blame him, we thank him.  Because of my Daddy, I KNOW what a good man is, and have that same requirement for my husband.  The whole point of everything I've mentioned is to say this.  I desire a man that will dig into the bottom of the cooler to get me the coldest pop he can find.  If all you have to give me is a pop, give me the best pop you have to give.  My requirements are not big, but my expectations are great.  I expect my future husband to love me with a father's love, protect me with the love of a warrior, and guide me with the Spirituality of God.  The right man's love will complete me.  I was created for HIM!  That was the sole purpose as to why God gave birth to woman.

As a woman, an unclaimed woman, I feel my loneliest when I am in a room filled with people.  I have people in my life who love me, unconditionally.  I have people in my life who would do anything for me.  For this, I am ever so grateful.  But, until the day I am able to find comfort in a man's love, my man's love, my husband's love, my feeling of emptiness will remain.  That's not a bad thing, it just is.  I am ready to accept and receive whatever God desires for me.  He only desires that I have that best.  I will not settle for anything less.  Settling is not an option for me, and should not be an option for you.

carry on

Choices...

Hello Loves!  Needless to say, my focus has not been where it used to be.  Since my last blog, I have had so many things going on in my life.  Some things were a distraction, others were a reaction.  None the less, I have been overwhelmed.  I may have been focused on things that served no purpose.  I may have been focused on things that were not designed to strengthen me.  All and all, I was focused on something.  Ultimately, my focus has changed.  I am still striving for clarity and confirmation.  Clarity has come, in some instances.  But, in others,  I am just as cloudy as I was a month ago.  I find comfort in knowing that God is not a God of confusion.  So, my lack of clarity is not of Him.  It is of ME.  I will not give the devil credit for anything.  

Everything is not of the devil.  I will take responsibility for my own thoughts, my own actions, and my own lack of following God's lead.  Even though I may not understand where God is leading me, or why He is leading me in the direction I am going.  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that His lead is the only one that will guide me to victory.  He will show me the way, and ensure that my path is well lit.  The shadows that come to bring darkness and gloom will be non existent.  The straight and narrow is where I desire to be.  Challenges, many challenges, are evident and designed to tempt me to stray.  

Straying is not always a bad thing, but straying too far can be catastrophic. In the midst of all of my madness, I have not, and will not meet my demise.  Despite my brief moments of misguided movements, I remind myself that I am the ruler of my own destiny.  No one else's.  The destiny that I choose, is the one that God has planned out for me.  

His plan is perfect.  I have no complaints.  It is not by my own understanding.  I had to bring myself back to the place where I FIRST believed.   That moment when the Spirt of God gave me a joy that nothing can compare to.  I received it then, and I receive it now!  I had to find the power to invoke something that had faded, but was never lost.  When I finally connected with that magnificent joy, my storms were calmed.  My storms dissipated.  My Spiritual empowerment was again MY  rock!  

I still can't identify exactly what happened that caused my Spirt to be weakened, but I am stronger because of it.  At no point should we allow the cares of this world to put us in a place of forgetfulness.  Remembering to be grateful for what God has done, what He's doing, and what He's going to do, is thought provoking enough to deter any and all attacks we are experiencing.  It needs to be said, most of our attacks are self inflicted.  

Most of what we go through is caused by our own choices.  Our own decisions.  Not mistakes, choices.  We choose to do what we do.  Especially when we are totally aware of the potential consequences.  We appease ourselves by calling what we do "mistakes."  Mistakes are only evident when we are not aware of the potential consequences.  When we KNOW what can happen because of our actions, or lack there of, then we are making a choice.  Choose wisely.  

"Choose you this day whom ye will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.                                                

                                                                                                                  - Joshua 24:15

carry on

MY Zone...

Please understand my zone, I am not one to condone.

The negative chit chatter, and words that don’t matter.

My glory, my grace, my time, my place.

My happiness, my joy, my love will destroy

EVERY angel of death, trying to steal my last breath.

No time to rehearse, God has written the verse.

The rules, the plan, the outcome will span

From you to me, for ALL to see.

Knowledge you will earn, if your ready to learn.

Have you been told, all that glitters ain’t gold?

If not, here’s a clue, from THE Beautiful One to you.

Shhh…Can you hear me now?  

Please take time to listen.

The Jesus in me is what makes me glisten!

I am the Queen, I am not a pawn.

I vow to be GREAT!

That is all…..carry on

Growth or...Distraction

Hello Loves.  I have not blogged in quite a while.  Life has required my attention, for many different reasons.  I have had some ups , some downs, some good days and some not so good days.  I am not one to have bad days.  Every day is a good day when God allows you to experience it.  Despite all of the turmoil I have faced, and the storms that have been raging, I am grateful.  I know that I am Blessed and Highly Favored.  My life has presented me with new opportunities, new friends, and I am sure, new foes.  But, above all things, I have spent a great deal of time thinking and connecting with God.  God has allowed me to cross paths with many new and interesting people.  I have been given the opportunity to make a positive impact on the lives I have become a part of.  Sowing seeds has become an unintentional part of my life.  It just happened, by no effort of my own.

When we are Blessed to be good people, and to have a Spiritually empowered soul, others can be drawn to us.  They are drawn to our strengths, and most importantly, our POWERFUL Spirit.  When we are in need, God will have us cross paths of someone that is in the seed sowing business.  But, the giver in us will still desire to contribute to the growth of their seeds.  We will take on the role of the seed fertilizer and the seed waterer.  Even though that person is attempting to help us, we will still attempt to reciprocate in any way possible.  One thing we must remember is, in our unselfish effort to fertilize the seeds; we have to be careful that we are not watering weeds.  I have said this before, and I will say it again, every goodly deed is not a Godly deed.  We have to know when we are supposed to become the gardener and give fertilizer and water to someone else’s seeds.  If we are not sure, very sure, our nurturing can fall on stony ground.  We have a tendency to view every positive thing we do as growth.  This is not always so.  Some things that we think is growth can actually be a distraction.

Distractions can come in many forms.  The strong must carry the weak.  As strong people, we desire to help someone, every opportunity we get.  We do not want to pass up the chance to make someone smile, or to make their life easier.  We need to remind ourselves, that every battle is not ours.  We are not supposed to react to every cry for help that is brought before us.  The help that we may be giving someone, could actually be a distraction from what God really wants us to do.  Delayed obedience, is still disobedience.  If God is not telling us to get involved, we need to heed His voice.  There are many situations that we can fix, instantaneously, but God may require that we just pray about that particular situation.  Everyone’s tests can eventually be their testimonies.  My tests are not your tests; your testimonies are not my testimonies.  What God has for you is for you, and no one else.  Walk in your calling and follow God’s lead.  Know when to sow, when to reap, when to fertilize, when to water, and when to pray.  God wants our harvest to be bountiful.  But, our bounty can become wilted if we are nurturing the wrong seeds.

Living, loving, and loving some more.            carry on

Cheat It to Beat It

Great, Godly evening Loves!  I have not blogged in awhile.  My focus has been cloudy, but my deliverance has always been clear.  God has been showing up and showing out.  I have been under constant attack since 2011.  In March 2011, my sister prophesized to me that I was under attack.  This was before anything major had happened.  She told me that I needed to fast more, and pray more.  Of course, I received her Word, but it was so hard to focus once everything started falling out of place.  I sincerely have lost EVERYTHING that I considered to be a priority.  At least I thought I had.  Despite everything that has gone on in the last year, I have remained faithful.  I have remained focused on my God.  I have kept a positive attitude.  My head has been held high, my smile is still on my face.  The enemy has not been able to distract me.  Even though I have had brief movements of sadness and depression, God brought me out.  When I could not depend on my family, my friends, I lost my job, and my home.  I was able to find a way out.  I CHEATED!  Cheating is what I do.  When you are between a rock and a hard place, in the voice of my director Brian Thomas, you have got to know how to cheat.  Your CHEAT is in your PRAISE.  We do not use conventional methods to get through our storms, we get our Praise on and CHEAT the situation.  We CHEAT the attacks.  We CHEAT the devil by pulling our winning hand.  God is our winning hand, for He can not lose.  He will be successful at all He does.  His word will not return void, it WILL accomplish what it was set out to do.  But, we must have faith.  We must believe, then we must...CHEAT.  Cheat your battles by Praising God in advance.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Tested By the Spirit...

Great morning Loves!  This is the day that the Lord hath made.  Let us REJOICE and be glad in it.  On this day two years ago, my life changed drastically.  I was at a point in my life where Faith was all I had.  I was Spiritually powerful, and Faithfully trusting in the Lord.  I knew that he would guide my steps and lighten my path.  I had no idea what was before me, but I thanked Him for delivering me from what was behind me.  My future was bright and my hope was high.  At no point did I feel discouraged, afraid, or alone.  But, shortly after that, my battles began.  Battles I had to face alone, not knowing that I was alone.  I knew God was there, but I also thought I had the support of those that claimed to love me.  I soon found out that God was REALLY all I had.  For sure, sure.  

There was one person in my life that was consistently there for me from day one, and still is.  My older sister Denise.  I love her with everything in me.  She connected with my spirit, she prayed for me, she cried with me.  Her strength brought me through.  I had family and friends that loved me, but I still felt as if something was missing.  I knew there was, but I could not define it.  Despite everything that we have, I know that MAN is the covering for a woman.  God does not desire us to be alone.  But, He also does not want us to settle.  Throughout our lives, we cross paths with many different people for many different reasons.  We learn that all that glitters is not gold.  We are presented with wolves in the clothing of sheep.  The devil tempts us with the things we desire the most.  Temptation don't take a vacation.  One thing for certain, and two things for sure, God is a keeper.  He is a deliverer.  He is a provider.  Most importantly for me, He is a healer.   He heals any ailments I may have.  He heals physical, mental, and spiritual pain when we least expect it.  My life today seems brighter than ever, and I do not have everything that I have always held as a priority.  So I thought.  My perspective has been changed, my steps have been numbered.  I have everything that God wants me to have at this point in my life.  One day at a time.  I am watching God work.  I am confident about the outcome of EVERY situation in my life.  Even when no one else understands, He gives me comfort and confirmation through the ones that say they love me, and shows me that they love me.  Just as I am able to see, and know that I know that I know.  To you, and for you, God can do the same thing.  

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  This statement speaks volumes into our lives, our hearts, our souls, and our atmosphere.  We live and die by the tongue.  Conquer your situation and claim victory in the name of Jesus.  Say it Loud, say it proud.  Let the enemy know that you will not be defeated and that God has already handled each and every one of your needs.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  The things that seem to be the hardest, are the situations that are the easiest for God to fix.  Don't tell God you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God.  God already knows.  Follow your Spirit.  The Jesus in you will carry your burdens.  The war is not ours, because it has already been won.  What God has for you is for you, and no one else.  Know this for yourself.  Everything goodly, is not GODLY.  The right things that you may be doing, are not always the right things that God WANTS you to be doing.  Let go and let God.  His authority will be questioned, and your spirit will be tested.  Your test shall become your testimony.  I know that mine has.  He is mine and I am HIS.  No matter what.  OUR love is everlasting!   Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Simply put...just LOVE

Great morning Loves!!! Another day, another opportunity, another chance to be better. If you can't find it in you to make yourself better, then try to make someone else better. Growth does not have to be gained within you or your immediate circle, it can be gained through a smile and a hello. You never know what someone is going through, and you can be the one that changes their perspective. Without saying a word.  It costs nothing to make someone's day.  No acknowledgment is needed.  You will feel it in your Spirit.  The mode that so many are in, is becoming a very contagious unhappiness.  

People are unhappy and are feeling hopeless.  The unhappiness that so many people are feeling these days, is unmeasurable.  People are unhappy for no reason.  The spirit of gloom is everywhere we go.  When you leave your own environment, the environment that you have control of.  The environment that you have the authority to set the atmosphere in.  The environment that you should ensure is Spiritually sound and serene.  Take that positive feeling with you on your daily walk.  Let others benefit from what God has given you.  If you have joy, and you should, God gave it to you.  Share it with others.  Allow it to radiate to the surface of your being.  Without changing the economy.  Without changing our social status.  Without changing our financial situation.  We CAN change the atmosphere.  One smile at a time.

So, smile!! Smile big, smile hard, smile long. Love each other. For no apparent reason, just because. I love you, unconditionally!!! Love me back, please. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on