Hello Loves! It's been too long, much too long since I have blogged. The direction of my life has changed, abruptly. I honestly think I went into Spiritual shock there for awhile. I am coming back into my own, and the blurriness in my vision is clearing up. Today, this morning to be exact, began as a day of clarity and reminiscing. I feel Blessed for that. My life is not my own, I know this, but sometimes I can remember times when I felt like I OWNED my life. In my remembering, I often think of my Daddy. He is the most AWESOME man I have ever known.
My Daddy was a very hard working man, he is retired now. His family was a priority, and his God was an even greater priority. If my Daddy wasn't at work, he was at church. My Mommy would take advantage of every opportunity available for us to spend time with him. Quality time. One of my fondest memories of these moments, was my Daddy's lunch breaks at his job.
My Daddy retired from Pepsi Cola, he worked there for over 30 years. My Mommy used to regularly take us to his job to have lunch with him. I used to be so anxious to see my Daddy. To this day, my Daddy's favorite meal is breakfast, and I still get excited when I see him. My Mommy would make breakfast for my Daddy's lunch. She would cook pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs for our picnic brunch. My Daddy's face would light up when he saw us. That was the greatest feeling in the world. After lunch, he would take me into the plant. The bottling plant had these monstrous machines that were just loud and scary to me. I hated walking past them, but being with my Daddy made me feel safe. He would take me to the cooler where the pop was. In that day, employees were allowed to have as much free pop as they wanted. Needless to say, people abused that privilege, but my Daddy didn't. He would remind me, "Tanny, you can only have one pop, we won't be greedy, this is a Blessing." He would proceed to dig in the cooler, all the way to the bottom, to find the coldest can of Pepsi he could. Just for me. Sometimes, he would pull the pop out, touch it with his other hand, and put it back in the cooler because it wasn't cold enough. That made me feel special, very special. It made me understand how big the smallest things are. Throughout my life, I learned to appreciate the smallest things. I embrace life on a level unlike most, because of this appreciation.
In my appreciation of everything my Daddy has taught me, I have to say, I know he is ready to pass the torch. He is longing for the day when the man that God has for me, steps up and claims me...and my sister. I am very picky when it comes to my husband, and he knows this. He once said to me, "I blame myself for you and your sisters standards being so high, you want someone just like your Daddy." I assured him that we do not blame him, we thank him. Because of my Daddy, I KNOW what a good man is, and have that same requirement for my husband. The whole point of everything I've mentioned is to say this. I desire a man that will dig into the bottom of the cooler to get me the coldest pop he can find. If all you have to give me is a pop, give me the best pop you have to give. My requirements are not big, but my expectations are great. I expect my future husband to love me with a father's love, protect me with the love of a warrior, and guide me with the Spirituality of God. The right man's love will complete me. I was created for HIM! That was the sole purpose as to why God gave birth to woman.
As a woman, an unclaimed woman, I feel my loneliest when I am in a room filled with people. I have people in my life who love me, unconditionally. I have people in my life who would do anything for me. For this, I am ever so grateful. But, until the day I am able to find comfort in a man's love, my man's love, my husband's love, my feeling of emptiness will remain. That's not a bad thing, it just is. I am ready to accept and receive whatever God desires for me. He only desires that I have that best. I will not settle for anything less. Settling is not an option for me, and should not be an option for you.
carry on
