Thursday, December 29, 2011

Pissing the Devil Off

God wishes, above all things, that we prosper and be of good health.  I have been Blessed beyond compare.  God is too good to me, I could never be unhappy.  I have my moments, they are short and far between, but that is the natural part of me.  But, even though I go through these moods swings, I am growing Spiritually every day.  The devil is pissed at me right now, and has been for awhile.    He is going to be boiling mad once he recognizes what I have become.  I fear nothing but God.  The devil has no power over me or my life.  He is attacking me personally, financially, emotionally, through my family, through my friends, through my health, through everything I love.  I am still standing, I am still filled with joy, I am staying steadfast.  My faith is in full stride right now and I will not back down.  The devil does not like that, as a matter of fact, he hates it.  My ultimate goal is to piss the devil off to the extreme.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Prepare!


Terrific Tuesday afternoon. We are getting closer and closer to the New Year. I am one who totally looks forward to starting a New Year, a new cycle in my life. The idea of having another opportunity to do better, to be better, to love harder, and to be stronger is something that excites me. As we prepare for this NEW opportunity, we must remember a few very important factors. The past is the past, it's ok to leave it there. But, it is imperative that we take the lessons learned from our past experiences with us into our future endeavors. If you have a grudge, leave it. If you have hate in your heart, get rid of it. Start the year "anew" with "a new" attitude. I am not a vengeful person, and I love everyone, but I also know who to love from a distance. If I am continuously loving you up close and personal, do not take it for granted. That is a different kind of love, and I reserve the right to retract that kind of love whenever it is warranted. God's love for me is the only motivation I need to love others. That should be everyone's reason for loving. On another note, you really have no choice BUT to love if you want to make it into the kingdom of heaven. That is all! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Monday, December 26, 2011

If Nothing Else...

My thoughts have been in a place that is not familiar to me.  There are so many things I would like to say, but I am actually having a problem putting my thoughts to words.  I want EVERYONE to be happy.  I want EVERYONE to feel love.  I want EVERYONE to feel the joy the He brings.  This holiday season has been like one that I have never experienced.  Despite the fact that my funds have been so short that I could not go Christmas shopping, God made a way for my children to have an amazing Christmas.  My children made it very clear that they did not want or need anything for Christmas, but personally, I am not used to being in this predicament.    I have had to totally depend on God for EVERYTHING.  Up until March, I honestly thought that was what I was doing.  But, when you honestly can not see a way out of any situation in your life, then you really learn what it means to be totally dependent on God.  This was a lesson for me, and it will be a continuous lesson.  When I go back to work, I will have the same dependent mentally that I have developed.  I see so many people unhappy because of the stupidest things.  I had no choice but to find happiness in the things that I previously took for granted.  My life is coming together on a level that is more common for me, but it is already together on a level that was unfamiliar to me.  The love that I feel for people who are less fortunate than I am.  I do not mean materialistic fortune, I mean the lack of God in their lives.  I have something that should be coveted by anyone that doesn't have it.  God has given me a power that I could not have gotten if I had not went through what I went through.  I am overflowing with love for God, love for my children, love for my family, love for my friends, even love for my enemies.  God has put a man in my life that desires to love me unconditionally and adores my spirituality and is making every effort to grow in God.  If nothing else, the fact that I have been able to draw others to Christ and help others maintain their faithfulness, I have accomplished more this year than I have in my entire life.  My strength, my faith, my God.  I know I will not waiver from what I have come to love even more.  It is sooo worth staying faithful and believing in God's word.  He can and will bring you through ANYTHING.  My confidence is built on faith, my faith is built on Christ!  I have Him...if nothing else.   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on  

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Jesus Is!

Merry Christly Christmas! God is amazing! Today is a spiritually emotional day for me, His birth is the reason that I am able to live. I love Jesus, and I can't imagine my life without Him. He has worked miracles in my life, my ENTIRE life. If people only knew the UNBELIEVABLE things He has done for me. One of these days, when you have a ton of time, I will tell you the history of my life and the Blessings that has been bestowed on me since childhood. I am Blessed and Highly favored! You are Blessed and Highly favored. Before the world began, He called out YOUR name! Think about that, seriously think about that. Now, enjoy your day and give Praisees to whom ALL Praises are due. Jesus is! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Tell the Enemy...NOW WHAT?

After an unbelievably, uplifting, spiritually empowering week, I KNEW the devil was going to be pissed at me.  God has done amazing things in my life, in an instant.  He has conquered things that I have prayed about and waited on.  I maintained a positive attitude while patiently waiting on the Lord.  The devil could not break me down, no matter what he tried.  But, today, here he comes again.  He could not stand that (_i_) whooping I put on him this year, and he hated it when I stumped him down this morning.  He had to come back with a vengeance.  Attacking me through the ones I love.  I was angered and ready to retaliate, then I had to remember who and what I was dealing with.  The devil is a spirit, and this is spiritual warfare.  I can not handle this as a human.  I will not react.  I will not be carnal minded.  I will allow God to lead me, just as I have for the last ten months.  God has Blessed me with wonderful people who have been by my side throughout all of this.  He has Blessed me with someone who listens to me, just listens.  Someone who does not try to fix things that are beyond HIS ability.  But, will pray for me and be that strong shoulder when needed.  Aside from the fact that I refuse to let God down, I will not let my loves down.  I will not let myself down.  And, most importantly, I will not let HIM down.  He depends on my strength, and my ability to maintain a level head in the midst of chaos.  It did not take long for me to remember that my purpose has changed.  I regained my focus and went into prayer.  God gave me peace about this NEW situation.  I leave it in His hands.  He will handle this in the way that He sees fit.  I trust Him, totally.  I love Him, unconditionally.  He loved me first, just because.  Back on my game, my SPIRITUAL game.  I will not be broken!  Feeling Spiritually strong as I tell the enemy...NOW WHAT?  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Believe it and Receive it

Today has been an AWESOME day.  This week has been an AMAZING week.  I am overflowing with joy.  Having joy is very common for me, but the way I feel today, had become a thing of the past.  I honestly can not think of the last time I was this happy.  For those of you that know me on a close personal level, you are well aware that my entire year has been filled with continuous attacks.  Even though I am one that keeps to myself.  The orchestration of chaos that has been brought on my by the enemy, was truly unheard of.  I continued to pray.  I continued to fast.  I continued to grow Spiritually, and I continued to love those that made every effort to hurt me.  This has been a very discouraging, hurtful year for me. But, by the grace of God, I maintained my sanity, and most importantly, I maintained my faithfulness.  It was prophesized to me in April, that I was under attack.  This was shortly after I had been terminated from a job that I had only worked at for a month.  I left a very secure, well paying job to accept this position.  This, of course, should have been a blow of devastation.  I am very strong, naturally.  So, I am even stronger, spiritually.  I knew what it was and who it was, so I was prepared.  So I thought.  The consistent attacks pushed me to my breaking point on more than one occasion.  But God!  I am a witness to what God can do and what He will do, if only we stay faithful.  The enemy could not break me head on, so he attacked me through the ones I love.  I have been through things that I would never have imagined would happen to me.  Still, I smile.  Still, I thrive.  Still, I thank God for the small things.  The things that can not be bought and that does not come automatically.  I thank Him for the things that I can not acquire through education or employment.  The people that I have been able to help since I have had so much time on my hands, has been a very Spiritual experience.  The perspectives that I assisted in changing will bring hope to those that felt things were hopeless.  Please, I beg you.  Stay strong.  Stay loving.  Stay faithful.  Stay Godly.  Your efforts will not go unnoticed.  God WILL keep His word.  Once you believe, truly believe.  Then, and only then, can you receive. I am running faster, and I am loving harder than ever before!  My breakthrough is upon me, and I will not miss out on my Blessings.   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Wait is Over

I have been MIA for a minute, but now, I am back to getting it in!  Thanking my God for everything, as usual. I have been extremely busy for the last few days. Unexpectedly busy. I have had so many eye opening experiences, that I am truly on cloud nine. I am always amazed at how quickly God answers prayers. He is in the Blessing business, and He continues to bring light to my life when there seems to be so much darkness around me. The darkness is there, but I can't see it. The misery is there, but I can't feel it. Depression is lurking, but I repel it! I have a glow like no other, and people are drawn to it. My faith is increasing, my spirit is filled with joy! My life is awesome, and I would not trade it for anything. I am really happy right now. Finally, things are coming together. My patience is paying off. My wait is over. I am in full stride to take full advantage of my breakthrough. I love my life, I love my God, I love my loves, and I love HIM! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Heart is Deceitful

Great afternoon.  I have to say something today that is meant for someone, maybe many someone's.  When we love, naturally it can be overwhelming and hard to let our walls down so that we can love.  But, SPIRITUALLY, we are supposed to love everyone, unconditionally.  We are to love our family, our friends, and even our enemies. We believe that when we do good, we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.  I am here to serve notice that every good deed is not a God deed.  Our heartfelt compassion and concern for each other can cause us to actually go AGAINST God's will.  The scripture that addresses this is Jeremiah 17:9, it reads, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"  It is not WHO you know, it is that you know "I AM."  The Great I am.  When you know God, I mean really know God, you will know when to act, when to react, when to intervene, or when to intercede.  Intercessory prayer is one of the greatest things we can do for each other.  Just because we may be mentally, physically, and financially fit, to "fix" someone's problems, does not mean that we are supposed to.  We will go through more attacks once we become SPIRITUALLY connected.  The closer we get to God, the greater the attacks will be.  Subsequently, the stronger we will become.  We will get to the point where we will know heavy attacks are coming before they present themselves.  That is our connection with God.  But, when we go through, the ones that are connected to us, will also go through.  The enemy will attack us through the ones we love when he realizes he can not make us waiver by attacking us head on.  When we are Spiritually connected with each other, we will be able to discern when our loved one's are going through something major.  Knowing, loving, and being a Spiritually guided person, can lead some to believe that WE are unlucky.  No, we are not unlucky, we are highly favored.  Take the time to know, connect, and go with God.  Your battles will be greater, your attacks will be greater, but your SPIRIT will become more powerful.  So, needless to say, if you are serving the God that I serve, you too are under attack.  Fast for it, pray for it, prepare for it.  It will come your way until the day you die.  Unless you stray AWAY from God.  Remember, every goodly deed is not a Godly deed.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Joy Comes in the Morning


Great afternoon! After a very long, sleepless night, I am a little closer to feeling like myself. I spent my night thinking, contemplating, planning, and praying. Eventually, I was able to focus enough to meditate on the Lord for a while. My day yesterday was one that I would love to forget, so I thought. God will connect with you on such a level that your soul will be cleansed at the time you need it most. Tears of hurt, pain, frustration and anger, were transformed into tears of joy! My God knows just what to say, and how to say it, so that Atanya will interpret His words in a way that is best for...Atanya. I love my God, and I love my friends that were there for me last night. The outpouring of love and concern touched my heart and calmed my soul. I love HIS strength and concern for me. HIS love is real and unconditional. That's what I love most about HIM. My spirit will not be broken. In the midst of all of my attacks, I continue to find the strength to say thank you. The devil is a lie, and in all of his messing, I ALWAYS find a Blessing. There's a Blessing in it, and I will find it. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Educating the Ignoramuses

Before I begin, I must say that I am not usually one that blogs about anything negative.  I take pride in the positive insight that I give to my readers.  But, this is one thing that I have got to get off my chest.

The below article really pissed me off.  I am sick and tired of well to do WHITE people trying to tell us what we need to do to get to where they are, or want to be.  It needs to be said, unless you have lived it, you have no business talking about it.  I will use myself as an example for the sake of educating the ignoramuses who think they can just CREATE a solution that will solve our issues.

I was raised in a middle class family.  Yes, I intended an inner city school.  I was smarter than the average student, and I still am.  I am an educated black women.  I have extensive experience, and a very strong technical background.  I am a single parent of three girls.  All three of my children graduated High School as members of the National Honors Society, which I was also a member of.  I have been unemployed for the last 9 months, despite my education and experience.  I submit at least 100 resumes every week, consistently, and I very rarely get called for an interview.  Yes, the economy is bad, but the bottom line is that if I were a white woman, or if my name did not hint that I am a black woman, I would be employed by now.  The issues can not be outlined in black and white, but the issues are black and white.  It is sad to say, but an employers desire to have a diverse workforce is not what it should be.  Many white people are intimidated by black people just because we are black.  I know this from experience.  I have worked in several environments where I was almost, if not the only, black person I would see throughout the entire day.  I was able to connect with my co workers on a personal level, and they made it very clear that they were intimidated, if not afraid, of black people.  This is something that needs to be recognized.  I do not walk around with a chip on my shoulder, but I am not ignorant to the issues at hand.

Please click on the below link and read the article
If I Were a Poor Black Kid...Well You are Not
Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Lack of Faith Occludes Blessings

Great morning.  Unhappiness has become so wide spread that we are not aware that we are unhappy.  We are becoming accustomed to a life of misery and pain.  We are accepting every negative thing that we see and hear as our own reality.  God allows us to go through all that we go through, so that we can know that HE is God.  His mercy and grace will be never ending as long as we trust and believe in Him.  Our faith must be greater than our fate.  Our will must be greater than our way.  Our love must be greater than our life.  My loves, I see you are growing impatient and weary in your well doing. I hear you asking, "God why You", and when is it YOUR turn to have peace and prosperity"?  I know the Spirit is telling you, "If I give you everything, and you had to wait for nothing, how would you recognize a Blessing"?  If we had everything WE wanted and needed, what desire would we have to be close to God?  God will provide everything we need and some of what we want.  He will give us the desires of our hearts.  But, as we grow closer to Him, and become more SPIRITUAL, the desires of our hearts will change.  God reigns on the just as well as the unjust.  Simply put, He will Bless you and love you regardless of your beliefs.  But, when you desire the full Blessings of the Lord, you must have faith in Him and His word, no one else's.  Not having faith WILL NOT stop God from Blessing you.  But, lack of faith occludes Blessings.  I want my Blessings to come full flow, without anything blocking them.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Biblical Meaning of the Number 12

As I mentally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually prepare for 2012, I found it necessary to share my limited knowledge of the the Biblical Meaning of the Number 12.  This is an amazing number to me, and I am so excited to begin the new year.  This number is, in obvious definition, a multiplication of the significance of the numbers 3 and 4.  Join in my excitement and joy for the upcoming year.

Twelve is a perfect number, signifying perfection of government, or of governmental perfection. It is found as a multiple in all that has to do with rule. The sun which "rules" the day, and the moon and stars which "govern" the night, do so by their passage through the twelve signs of the Zodiac which completes the great circle of the heavens of 360 (12 x 30) degrees or divisions, and thus govern the year.
Twelve is the product of 3 (the perfectly Divine and heavenly number) and 4 (the earthly, the number of what is material and organic).
While seven is composed of 3 added to 4, and is God's number of completion.  The number 12 is 3 multiplied by 4, and hence denotes that which can scarcely be explained in words, but which the spiritual perception can at once appreciate, organization, the products denoting production and multiplication and increase of all that is contained in the two numbers separately. The 4 is generally prominently seen in the twelve.

Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Love Conquered

I am overflowing with joy today.  For no apparent reason.  But, for many apparent reasons.  I can't say that much has changed today from yesterday.  But, I will say, I love to love and to be loved.  Each day gives me a new perspective, a greater desire, and a clarity that love is needed.  The need for love has reached a magnitude that I would never have predicted.  People are growing more and more hateful.  They are hating each other for the craziest reasons.  Hate me because I'm beautiful.  Hate me because I am employed.  Hate me because I am loved.  Hate me because, just because.  The list goes on and on.  Hate can turn to rage, which can manifest into obsession.  Love each other for the obvious, and embrace each other for the not so obvious.  Take a chance and wear your emotions on your sleeves, for once.  If you experience pain and rejection because of this, then when you experience true love you will be that much more appreciative of the love you have conquered.  Accept people for who they are.  Love people for who they are.  Trust people for who they are.  Do not expect to change anyone.  If they gossip to you about other people, they will gossip about you to other people.  Know this from the beginning.  Then, and only then, will you be able to continue to love them once they have run your name through the mud.  Know and understand those that you share your time with.  But, love and respect those that you fall in love with.  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

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PLEASE check out this site.  It has amazingly cheap deals.  Click on the link below and be certain to REGISTER.  I will get credit for referring you.  If you snooze, you lose.   carry on

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

For Him I live...For Him I Will Die

Today has been an amazing day, as usual.  I thank God for everything He has done, everything He is doing, and everything He is going to do.  I really thank God for giving me an uncommonly, peaceful spirit.  The peace that God gives me is what keeps me focused, it gives me understanding, and it gives me the desire to pray for others.  I love everyone.  I pray for everyone.  Even those that make a great effort to bring me down, and attack my spirituality.  My blog yesterday and my Facebook post, truly opened up a  can of worms.  It's really something how people are so instantaneously offended when you voice your opinion about homosexuality.  But, they are receptive and understanding to the people who are Atheists.  People speak negatively about God, they attack one's spirituality, and the Christian world actually take it with a grain of salt, as if its nothing.  But, the minute you say ANYTHING about gay's that is not supportive of their lifestyle, you are crucified.  Is it me, or is there something wrong with that picture?  I have come to the conclusion that the picture is very clear, there is really nothing wrong with it, God's word is proving itself to be true.  We are living in the last days, and until people take the time to know God for themselves, this type of confusion will grow and spread like the plague.  People are not recognizing what is happening.  They see it happening, but are very accepting of it.  When your personal relationship with God is not strong and spiritual, you will fall prey to all of the tricks of the enemy.  When you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.  I stand for God, my spirituality, and I will endure until the end.  For Him I live, and for Him I will die.  That day is a lot closer than most of us think.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Sodom and Gamorrah of the 21st Century

Today, just like most of my days, has been a day of distractions, attractions, trials, and triumphs.  As I grow each day, I do take the time to think about many things.  I am observant, inquisitive, out spoken, and  fierce in all that I pursue.  I must say, I am not, and will not become accustomed to the very many outwardly disrespectful so called people of God.  It is known that God is a God of love and forgiveness. He is not a God that takes lightly to people taking advantage of His word, or twisting His word to justify their own actions.  It is true that God can speak to and through whomever He pleases and whomever is receptive to His voice.  But, just because you KNOW the word, does not eliminate your accountability to LIVE the word.  When much is known, much is required.  This brings me to the point of my aggravation.  I viewed a clip of the Lexi Show.  Lexi interviewed an openly gay couple who are pastoring a church in Atlanta , Georgia.  The Pastor is a Bishop, and his partner is referred to as the First Gentleman.  Really? We are all aware that there is one unforgivable sin, but homosexuality is not a sin, it is an abomination.  There is a difference.  The reaping is different, and it takes a much greater spiritual effort to be delivered from such a thing.   Let's not confuse what it means to sin, what it means to ask for forgiveness, and what it means to continue to do what we are doing with no remorse.  I am not homophobic, I have friends and family who are gay, but just as a liar needs to sincerely ask for forgiveness, so does homosexuals.  Accept who you are, for the time being, but recognize when you need to bind and rebuke your own spirits.  I love  everyone.  Regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation.  But, just because the world has become so accepting of so many sins, does not mean that God is.  God is the same God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  Are we becoming the Sodom and Gamorrah of the 21st century?  Watch the clip below, and decide for yourself.  Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on


Friday, December 9, 2011

Take Time to See...ME

Great morning! Thanking God for my life, health, and strength. Even though I'm trying to catch a cold. It would be nice if the cold would run a little faster. I had an awesome evening last night and I had a very informative conversation with a good friend. Looking forward to this evenings festivities. It's so nice to see that everyone is not all about negativity, and there are truly a lot of good people out there, specifically single BLACK men. Not understanding the issue that so many woman are having. God has Blessed me with many options. Confusing sometimes, but I still have options, good ones. For starters, if we can move beyond the stereotypes, maybe we can see each other for who we truly are. I honestly believe that excess baggage from previous relationships is the main reason why people can not see the good in each other. I don't like being stereotyped, and I am sure you do not either. Think about it. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Love Yourself, You are YOUnique

One of the most important things that anyone can accomplish, is to love you first.  We are all given an individualized gift from God that makes us who we are, individuals.  The significance of this is that no one else is like YOU.  The parts that you like about yourself,  and the parts that you dislike about yourself is what makes you YOUnique.  Love yourself for who you are.  But, you must embrace who you are before you can come to this self loving status.  You are a child of God.  Whether you accept it, live it, or walk in it.  This is who you are and who you were created to be.  Knowing that God loves you, no matter what, should be motivation enough for you to love yourself.  Living your life trying to be like someone else, or patterning yourself after someone else can be a lonely way of existence.  It is normal to envy others, but when that envy turns into jealousy, it can be dangerous.  Obsessions are the main reason why so many people basically loses it.  I love myself.  I am not obsessed with me or anyone else.  I have no desire to be anyone other than who I am.  I couldn't even imagine having such a twisted desire.  The good parts of me are accepted by so many, but the AMAZING parts of me are embraced, and in some instances, coveted by some.  I love myself with everything in me.  This self absorbed love, if you want to call it that, is radiated and shared with the people I love.  Loving on a level that I love is not common.  I acknowledge and accept that.  So, when I do not receive the same level of love in return, I am not surprised.  My gifts are my gifts.  My talents are my talents.  God designed them specifically for me.  God made me unique.  I love that about Him.  He is the maker of all, and the finisher of everything.  Do not spend another day trying to be something that you are not.  You can only be you, and no one can be you better than you.  Love yourself, for I love myself.  I also love...you.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

My Boundaries, My Choice

It kills me how  men say that they want a good woman.  A woman that has not been passed around from man to man.  A woman with boundaries, and most importantly standards.  But, when men find that woman, they allow their egos to get the best of them.  I have a very flirtatious personality, I admit to that.  It is because I love people and I love to make people smile.  Specifically, black men.  I am flattered by the positive compliments and attention I receive from adoring men.  But, that does not mean that I am promiscuous.  It does not mean that I sleep with every man that I hang out with, or that desires me.  I have boundaries, and I live within them.  I do not "make out" with a man unless I am comfortable with allowing it to go further.  Because of this, I have been called a tease, stuck up, and even a lesbian.  My morals and my values are mine.  I do not, and will not change them for anyone.  Real men embrace this personality characteristic, and they respect it.  They strive to be that one that I will choose.  At the end of the day, allowing just anyone to enter my body is not something that I will do.  God has given me the understanding of the complications that this kind of behavior can bring.  My spirituality is the most important thing to me.  If I do not connect with your spirit, I will not allow your seed to come anywhere near my...SPIRIT.  I know who I want, and HE wants me.  I know who I love, and HE loves me.  Looking forward to an amazing life with this man.  It has been a long time coming!   Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Struggling!

I must say, change and moving forward is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I am mentally prepared for the move.  My mind is ready to grow.  But, my past keeps coming back.  I am leaving some things and people behind because I feel that is what's best for me.  But, those things and those people do not want to be my past.  They want to be my past, my present, and my future.  Decisions, decisions.  This is certainly putting me in a place of indecisiveness.  I want to do better, I want to be better.  I want to love and be loved in return.  This is a priority for me right now.  So, when I look at things from that perspective, no matter how tempting, there are some things that can no longer be the object of my affection.  Jesus is my strength, my motivation, my everything.  But, even He will allow me to make my own choices.  I know what I want.  I know who I want.  But, is he what I am supposed to have?  A little confused right now, but I am continuously praying for clarity.  What God has for me is for me.  That is my power surge.  Surging forward is what I will do.  Either you are with me or not.  If you choose not to come, you will be...left behind.   I want you, now you need to do what you need to do to have me, and keep me.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Monday, December 5, 2011

Change...

It is, a time for change.  A time for renewal.  A time to make decisions.  Decisions that can impact my life forever. I have made a well informed choice to move forward in my life.  December will be my month for preparation.  This chapter in my life is complete, and I will savor the memories until and after my change comes.  My life has been chaotic this ENTIRE year, but I have learned and grown so much because of the chaos.  If it were not for all of the chaos, I would not have put things into perspective.  The things that I am extremely grateful for today, are the same things that I took for granted this time last year.  My New Year will be the start of the next chapter in my life.  I intend to love harder than I have ever loved before.  I intend to give more than I have ever given before.  Most importantly, I intend to grow with God more than I have ever grown before.  I view the New Year as another opportunity to make things "new".  My newness will not include some people for many different reasons.  My change will consist of loving those that love me.  My change will consist of getting closer to those that desire to be closer to me.  I will love everyone else from afar.  I love because I love.  I am in love with him because he is in love with me.  Our time has come.  I have been waiting my entire life for this.  The wait is over...for now.   Living, loving, and loving some more.  carry on

Sunday, December 4, 2011

He is...AWESOME

Great Satisfying Sunday! God is deliverer, a provider, a healer. I unintentionally jacked up my back on Friday. By Saturday evening, I could barely walk (I'm sure cat crawling didn't help it any), but anyways, I came home, laid hands on myself, and bind the spirt of pain and agony. I prayed for ALL of my loves, and got an amazing connection with God before I went to sleep. I slept harder than a rock. Apparently, I talked on the phone with a couple of people during the night. When I woke up, I did not remember if it was a dream or an actual conversation. Now...back pain gone! God is awesome! I am so glad I know him for MYSELF. If you don't know, you better get to know. He makes life worth living. I am Blessed, I am loved. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Preparing for a NEW Beginning

Great morning. I have joy in my spirit, a song in my heart, and a word in my mouth. Its time to mentally and spiritually prepare for the end of 2011. Make it a point to allow the beginning of 2012 to be a "NEW beginning". Take a look at your lives and a look at your loves. Cling to the ones you love and are loving you in return. Continue to cling, and don't let go. But, starting today, look at YOUR situation. If you are making him a priority in your life, but he treats you like an option, its time to consider other options. I have to say, for whatever reason, God has given me many options. I am grateful for that. I have faith that the option I have chosen, is the one that God wants me to choose. If not, time will reveal. Regardless, it was my choice to make, and I am standing by it. I miss you, Babe! Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

A New Life for Old Souls

Today is a day that I will ALWAYS remember. Two people that I hold near and dear to my heart will be saying farewell to their loved ones. My sister,Rhonda Denise Hayes McFadden's aunt will have her homegoing, and my best male friend Sylvester Mcswain, will say to his mother, "I will see you in heaven." Both will be at 11:00 am. Not a coincidence. I will be in prayer at the 11th hour. My prayers are with both of them and their families. I love you both. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Friday, December 2, 2011

When I Love...

When I love, I love with everything in me.  At the age that I am, I have not experienced actually loving a MAN with everything in me.  I am totally capable of this, but the men that I have had in my life are not very receptive of it.  The ONE man that can handle my love, ALL of my love, will be the happiest King in the world.  Taking me for granted, not a good idea.  Taking advantage of my love for you, not a good idea.  Allowing me to walk away, the worst mistake of your life.   I am the best, and I will give my man the best treatment possible.  Losing me is something that all of the men in my past wish he had not done. Loving everyone is the easy part.  Falling in love with a man, a little more difficult.  Walking away from that man, almost impossible.  Key word...ALMOST.  I come first, I love me first, then I can love my man in a way that only Atanya can love.  Embrace my love, accept the gift I am giving you.  This can not be replaced or duplicated.  Atanya's love is not an imitation, it is the real deal.  Living, loving, and loving some more.   carry on

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Learn to Love...Unconditionally

Bitterness, hurt, anger, all of these things can manifest into hate. I am not one to speak negatively of the men in my life, especially on a public venue such as this. Man bashing...not my thing. I accept people for who they are, humans. We ALL are natural first. Regardless of what anyone does to me or say about me, I will not stoop to their level. Atanya is responsible for Atanya's actions. No one else. You are responsible for your actions. If you are a Christian, you must consider this. When much is known, much is required. Do not do or say things that YOU will have to reap for, 10 fold. Women, love the men in your life and treat them like Kings. That's what it means to be a true QUEEN. Our actions are based on our choices, not on the actions of others. Choose ye this day who you will serve. Man or God? Serving God means that He has your vengeance. Pray for those who hurt you. If your prayers are sincere, your heart will hurt just knowing that your offenders will reap for their actions. All I can do is love you, its up to you if you accept. But, even if it is rejected, I still love you. My spirit will not allow me to do anything else. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on

Happy for...EVERY Reason

Great morning! Up and at 'em, once again preparing for battle. Feeling good, looking great, living large in the name of Jesus. I have received many positive Praise reports this morning, and it just boosted my spirit even higher. I feel that the tides have turned, and God is honoring our faithfulness. He has brought us to it, to bring us through it. I have been through the fire, but I am coming out smelling and feeling brand new. He never ceases to amaze me. Even in the midst of this crazy year, He has kept my attitude positive, and my Spirit peaceful. During all of this, I have made new life long friends, I have severed ties with old friends, and I have connected with ONE person on a level that I have not in quite a long time. I am Blessed, Blessed, Blessed! I am excited to see what the future holds for me and my family, me and my friends, and me and my Babe. I must say, I am smiling from ear to ear with a big KOOLAID smile on my face. No one will turn this smile upside down. I will be happy, I will be joyful, I will be grateful, for the alternative is not an alternative and is not an option. Living, loving, and loving some more. carry on